Combating Dystopia.

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Moral of the Story is: Online Dating is for Smucks.

Back when I was devoted to OKCupid as something of a high minded “these are supposed to be my people” (nerdy atheist hipsters) social experiment on Internet dating I was really disenchanted by the data they presented on race and biases. It was a stark reminder of all the ways in which having all the commonalities in the world wouldn’t get you past the oh-so-enjoyable kneejerk that is casual racism. It was somewhat devastating at the time, because I was operating under the naive misconception that the people who frequented OKCupid were sexually unrepressed, progressives on the whole. And yes, I’ve recently been informed about a “bridge in Brooklyn”. I’m talking to my people about it...

This bit of data is more interesting…or at least more amusingly presented. But otherwise, it seems to show me how consistently socialization seems to program us to be very similar little lemmings. I’m choosing to attempt to defy that paradigm. (And I despise diet coke and generic “soul food”. And sushi).


  1. you know, sometimes i am REALLY REALLY GLAD that i never had to do this. i mean, perhaps i missed out on some life experiences by (1) having a college sweetheart and (2) actually marrying him, but you know what? i am also glad that i never got to experience the particular, um, joy that is online dating.

    you've known me a long time: who in the world would i ever match up with? you, maybe. i can't think of many other people who could tolerate me for long. and even then, it's just a personality match. (although we do both have delightful personalities, if i may say so myself.)

  2. Its funny, the site that inspired this post has SCORES of people commisurating over their awful online dating experiences. Sure I've had a few doozies. "You won't mention this to my girlfriend/Its not you its me" deviations into extreme social awkwardness, but ultimitley the most delibitating aspect of Ok Cupid for me was and is that I feel stupidly slighted over the master status angle.

    The idea that a bunch of people who I'm 95% compatiable with on paper aren't compatable off of paper because their "standards" are too ..high *cough* biased towards ideal types*cough* I'm pleased OK Cupid published those stats about race and response rates, because seriously, I was getting a complex...but it just makes me not want to even bother.